Never the Dames Shall Meet

The Laurel & Hardy Moving Co. have a challenging job on their hands (and backs): hauling a player piano up a monumental flight of stairs to Prof. von Schwarzenhoffen's house. Their task is complicated by a sassy nursemaid and, unbeknownst to them, the impatient Prof. von Schwarzenhoffen himself. But the biggest problem is the force of gravity, which repeatedly pulls the piano back down to the bottom of the stairs.

As the front man of the Clash from 1977 onwards, Joe Strummer changed people's lives forever. Four years after his death, his influence reaches out around the world, more strongly now than ever before. In "The Future Is Unwritten", from British film director Julien Temple, Joe Strummer is revealed not just as a legend or musician, but as a true communicator of our times. Drawing on both a shared punk history and the close personal friendship which developed over the last years of Joe's life, Julien Temple's film is a celebration of Joe Strummer - before, during and after the Clash.

The Hardys wish to have a quiet evening in their apartment, but are interrupted when the Laurels pay a visit. Stan and Ollie go out for ice cream, and manage to prevent a shrewish woman from committing suicide on the way back home. The woman is ungrateful and makes threats against the them unless they look after her. They spend a chaotic evening trying to keep her hidden from their wives.

Police officer Edgar Kennedy is warned by his police chief to make arrests to stop a burglary epidemic on his patch or face the sack.

Stan and Ollie try to deliver the deed to a valuable gold mine to the daughter of a dead prospector. Unfortunately, the daughter's evil guardian is determined to have the gold mine for himself and his saloon-singer wife.

Two families embark on a pleasant Sunday picnic but manage to run into a variety of issues with their temperamental automobile. Each incident requires repeated exits and reboardings by Laurel, Hardy, their wives and grouchy, gout-ridden Uncle Edgar.

Although terrified of girls, Charley must take a job teaching at a girls school.

When Charlie borrows the policeman's uniform of his girl's father and captures a lunatic, his prospective father-in-law dons the uniform just in time to receive the reward of $1,000.

It's 1938, but Stan doesn't know the war is over; he's still patrolling the trenches in France, and shoots down a French aviator. Oliver sees his old chum's picture in the paper and goes to visit Stan who has now been returned to the States and invites him back to his home.

Two homeless vagabonds hide out in a vacant mansion and pose as the residents when prospective lessees arrive and try to rent it.

First, Ollie can't find his hat. Then he and Stan attempt to install a rooftop radio antenna.

Street musicians Stan and Ollie have no success earning money in the dead of winter in a bad neighborhood. Their instruments are destroyed in an argument with a woman, but their luck seems to turn when Stan finds a wallet.

Two sailors on shore leave rent a car and go on a drive with their dates, but soon get involved in a huge traffic jam with dozens of ill-tempered motorists. A minor collision sets off an escalating series of retaliations.

Stan and Ollie arrive as new inmates at a prison after apparently taking part in a hold-up raid, a raid they tell a prison officer they were only watching. The usual mayhem ensues.

Loony scientist hires Laurel and Hardy to raid the cemetery to keep him supplied with dead bodies for his experiments.