The Fable of the Brash Drummer and the Nectarine

Following another instance of the perennial defeat of the Atwater College football team, President Witherspoon is told that unless better athletes can be induced to come to Atwater, he will be asked to resign. Acting upon the suggestion of Professor Jelicoe, Jane, the professor's beautiful daughter, uses her personal charm to draw noted football stars from neighboring schools by a series of ruses at a vacationing spot. Billy Bolton, son of a financial magnate, falls for Jane and to prove himself registers under another name and works his way through school, attaining scholastic and athletic honors. Through the jealousy of another girl, Billy learns of Jane's trickery and persuades the athletes not to play;

In order to win the hand of the girl he loves, Ed Swinger creates a phony business to fool her father.

Kalora is the "slim princess of Morevana," a land in which fat is prized. This distresses her family, who must marry off Kalora, before her rotund younger sister Papova may wed. To remedy this situation, Kalora's father, the governor general, throws a garden party and disguises his slim daughter in an inflated rubber suit. All goes well until the suit ruptures, deflating Kalora to her normal size....

Lemuel Morehouse, the owner of a profitable meatpacking company in Chicago, bemoans the fact that neither of his two sons have the time nor inclination to eat with him. Billy is obsessed with culture, while Tom is a physical fitness nut. At the office, Lemuel is exasperated when Billy arrives for work at four in the afternoon and cannot stay because of a party he is giving that night to unveil a statue he bought for $20,000. Lemuel then finds Tom meeting with his golf committee rather than working. When the boys argue that business is only a means to an end, and that happiness and enjoyment of life are desired goals, Lemuel counters their contentions by declaring that what they really need are wives and tells them that Dorothy and Rose Gregson, the daughters of an old friend, will soon be visiting.

When Tom Redding's wealthy father dies and it turns out that all he left Tom was a mountain of debts, all of his "friends" desert him--except young Mary Austin. Determined to get out from all his debt, Tom heads west and eventually strikes it rich with an oil well. Now wealthy, he hatches a plan to get even with his "friends" in his hometown--by pretending to return home broke but having a colleague secretly buy up as much property in town as he can.

#1: The Household Comedian; #2: Why Essie's Friends Got the Fresh Air; #3: The Prevailing Craze.

At sight of a woman, he got a ticket for speeding.

A star rower is forced to join a good school under a pseudonym because his wealthy dad doesn't like schools that have high academic standards.

Based on George Ade's play which, in part, was based on an incident in a 1902 election in Wyoming, with women's-right-to-vote playing a large role. Here, Jim Hackler, local party-boss in a Wyoming county, has to decide to do what's right and lose the election, or what's wrong and win it.

A college flirt lures the nation's best football players to join her school's team.

"Sure-thing" Steve and his pals searched the map for prospective country towns in which they could bunco the inhabitants. They decided the town of Simpville would fall for a fake auction sale.

Blackstone Cooley, a studious young lawyer, could not see the girls for dust. One day while walking down the street he ran squat into a dame who looked like a million dollars to him. At last he realized he had spotted the queen of the human race. From that time on he tried in every possible way to learn her name and address, but nary a soul did he know who could arrange an introduction. He worried himself sick, and his doctor ordered him away to a summer resort. Still she was constantly on his mind. One day she blew in at the summer hotel, and after two years of waiting he met her. That was plenty, her line of gab queered her from the start. Next day Mr. Cooley beat it for home. Moral: Many who look the limit do not listen very well.

When Tillie left her country home for the seminary, she was just a plain Gawk, but when she returned a year later, she was a Glorious Butterfly.

Edward Swinger contrives to win the hand of the lovely Caroline Pickering by selling her father his business - a business that doesn't actually exist.

Ernest Coppie, an author, was trying to grind out something that could be sold for enough coin to buy himself a good square meal. He dashed off some sentimental guff called, "When Willie Came to Say Good-Night," and it was punk. He threw it in the wastebasket but when his friend came in he discovered it and set out to sell it. He finally found a magazine editor who gave him a check for $500, and it was like picking money off a bush. The author, who was an old bachelor and a kid hater, was tickled to death to get the dough, but when letters came in congratulating him on his excellent poem and sympathizing with him, he was bored to death.

Having declared himself in on a jolly college dinner, Mr. Dubley, member of the class of '88, counted on having a Hot Old Time. Now at a College Dinner the main idea is to get a flying start. It was to be a Dry dinner, so most of the sons of Bohunkus were doing what a Camel does just before crossing a Desert. At 8:15 the Crowd was herded into the banquet hall. Dr. Dubley found himself marooned between two pious elders. The Oysters had been warming up since 6:30. Fortunately, the soup was not warm enough to scald the thumb of a willing longshoreman who had been brought in as an extra waiter.