Pardon My Berth Marks

The Stooges have taken over the country of Moronica. Moe is Hailstone the Dictator, Curly is a Field Marshal and Larry is Minister of Propaganda. The Stooges are planning with their allies to conquer the world, which mainly consists of fighting over a globe. The former king's daughter gets into their headquarters and plants a bomb which Curly detonates. All ends well as the king regains control of the country and the Stooges wind up as trophies on the wall.

The Stooges join the war effort by enlisting at Merchant Marines. While aboard, they have a brief run-in with (a secret German Nazi officer) Lt. Dungen (Vernon Dent), and then mistake a torpedo for a beached whale. Moe says they have to kill it, and it promptly explodes. After being lost at sea for several days, they come across the SS Schicklgruber and climb aboard. Now with fully grown beards, they come across Lt. Dungen again, who does not recognize them. After realizing they are on a German war ship they eventually overtake the crew and toss them overboard.

A professor bets that he can turn the stooges into gentlemen. After many attempts to teach them etiquette, he brings them to a fancy society party. The stooges' new found manners don't last very long, and the party quickly degenerates. By the end, the other guests have adopted stooge-like behavior and the stooges leave as gentlemen.

A millionaire vacationing in Mexico falls for a local girl and sets out to win her. This is a reworking of Keaton's 1936 feature The Invader (An Old Spanish Custom).

The Stooges are convicts about to be executed for some murders they didn't commit.

The stooges are policemen on the trail of a murderer. They unsuccessfully interrogate an Italian organ grinder, among other suspects, and then catch the bad guy after a gun fight that nearly destroys the police station.

The stooges are pharmacists who invent a fountain of youth formula that can turn old people young. They turn an old lady into a beautiful young woman, but when her husband takes the formula it turns him into a gorilla.

The stooges, tricked by some con men into selling memberships to a phony duck hunting club, sell all the memberships to the police department. When the crooks skip town, the stooges are stranded at a duck-less lake with a lodge full of cops.

The stooges are discharged from the army and go to see their fiancée, but find they have been dispossessed and the wedding is off until they find a home. The boys have trouble finding a vacant apartment so they set up housekeeping in a vacant lot. Their housing problems seem to be solved until a farmer destroys their new home with a tractor. The stooges then build a house of their own, but the girls aren't impressed with the one room mansion and walk out on them.

Set in Elizabethan times, the stooges help their friend Cedric the Blacksmith win the hand of the fair princess Elaine. The only problem is that Elaine is promised to the Black Prince who is plotting to take over the kingdom. The stooges manage to foil the plot and the grateful King allows Cedric to marry Elaine.

Set in Medieval times, the stooges learn they are of royal blood and vow to save the kingdom. They become the queen's royal guards but are sentenced to die when the queen is abducted on the orders of the evil prime minister. The stooges escape, free the queen, and end up knocking each other out.

The Stooges reminisce about the girls they met overseas while in the military. As they wait for the girls' ship to arrive, they get drunk and Shemp winds up asleep with his feet in a tub of cement. After sobering up, they free Shemp with a dynamite blast that lands them at the dock where their sweethearts are waiting.

The stooges are private detectives hired to find a missing girl. The boys disguise as pie salesmen and end up wandering around a mad scientist's mansion, trying to find the girl. The boys confront a gorilla and various other bad guys, before rescuing the girl.

The stooges are three fish peddlers who, looking for a new business opportunity, open a beauty salon south of the border. Their first customers are some chorus girls from a local night club. After the stooges completely ruin the girls' hair, and their manager finds out, the boys must leave on the run.

Two families, abolitionist Northerners the Stonemans and Southern landowners the Camerons, intertwine. When Confederate colonel Ben Cameron is captured in battle, nurse Elsie Stoneman petitions for his pardon. In Reconstruction-era South Carolina, Cameron founds the Ku Klux Klan, battling Elsie's congressman father and his African-American protégé, Silas Lynch.

Three inept firemen try to avoid being fired by their increasingly exasperated chief.