The Fable of the City Grafter and the Unprotected Rubes

Following another instance of the perennial defeat of the Atwater College football team, President Witherspoon is told that unless better athletes can be induced to come to Atwater, he will be asked to resign. Acting upon the suggestion of Professor Jelicoe, Jane, the professor's beautiful daughter, uses her personal charm to draw noted football stars from neighboring schools by a series of ruses at a vacationing spot. Billy Bolton, son of a financial magnate, falls for Jane and to prove himself registers under another name and works his way through school, attaining scholastic and athletic honors. Through the jealousy of another girl, Billy learns of Jane's trickery and persuades the athletes not to play;

In order to win the hand of the girl he loves, Ed Swinger creates a phony business to fool her father.

Lemuel Morehouse, the owner of a profitable meatpacking company in Chicago, bemoans the fact that neither of his two sons have the time nor inclination to eat with him. Billy is obsessed with culture, while Tom is a physical fitness nut. At the office, Lemuel is exasperated when Billy arrives for work at four in the afternoon and cannot stay because of a party he is giving that night to unveil a statue he bought for $20,000. Lemuel then finds Tom meeting with his golf committee rather than working. When the boys argue that business is only a means to an end, and that happiness and enjoyment of life are desired goals, Lemuel counters their contentions by declaring that what they really need are wives and tells them that Dorothy and Rose Gregson, the daughters of an old friend, will soon be visiting.

When Tom Redding's wealthy father dies and it turns out that all he left Tom was a mountain of debts, all of his "friends" desert him--except young Mary Austin. Determined to get out from all his debt, Tom heads west and eventually strikes it rich with an oil well. Now wealthy, he hatches a plan to get even with his "friends" in his hometown--by pretending to return home broke but having a colleague secretly buy up as much property in town as he can.

Kalora is the "slim princess of Morevana," a land in which fat is prized. This distresses her family, who must marry off Kalora, before her rotund younger sister Papova may wed. To remedy this situation, Kalora's father, the governor general, throws a garden party and disguises his slim daughter in an inflated rubber suit. All goes well until the suit ruptures, deflating Kalora to her normal size....

Story of a war hero who preferred fishing to politics.

Tom Clark, the part owner of a luckless gas station in New York, returns to his place of birth for Old Home Week, posing as the millionaire president of the Amalgamated Oil Co. He is chosen as the orator for the homecoming banquet and given complete financial control over an oil well drilled in the town by Coleman and Barton, a pair of oily swindlers. Tom discovers that the well is a fake and has it connected secretly with the local reservoir. A wire from Tom's partner is intercepted, and Tom is exposed as a fraud. Coleman and Barton are about to leave town when Tom fakes a gusher and quickly sells the well back to the swindlers at a profit. The swindlers realize that they have been outsmarted, and their anger convinces the townspeople that Tom has acted in the best interests of the community. Tom is again the toast of the town, feted by its inhabitants and rewarded with the kisses of his sweetheart.

At sight of a woman, he got a ticket for speeding.

A star rower is forced to join a good school under a pseudonym because his wealthy dad doesn't like schools that have high academic standards.

Based on George Ade's play which, in part, was based on an incident in a 1902 election in Wyoming, with women's-right-to-vote playing a large role. Here, Jim Hackler, local party-boss in a Wyoming county, has to decide to do what's right and lose the election, or what's wrong and win it.

A college flirt lures the nation's best football players to join her school's team.

Gloom overcasts the palace of Count Selim Nalagaski, governor general of Morovenia, Turkey. All efforts to make the count's elder daughter, the Princess Kalora, fat, synonymous with beauty in that country, have failed. Popova, the Princess's tutor, devises a terrible revenge because the count called him a Christian dog. He feeds the princess pickles to keep her thin.

When Tillie left her country home for the seminary, she was just a plain Gawk, but when she returned a year later, she was a Glorious Butterfly.

Ernest Coppie, an author, was trying to grind out something that could be sold for enough coin to buy himself a good square meal. He dashed off some sentimental guff called, "When Willie Came to Say Good-Night," and it was punk. He threw it in the wastebasket but when his friend came in he discovered it and set out to sell it. He finally found a magazine editor who gave him a check for $500, and it was like picking money off a bush. The author, who was an old bachelor and a kid hater, was tickled to death to get the dough, but when letters came in congratulating him on his excellent poem and sympathizing with him, he was bored to death.

Aunt Mahaley knew Uncle Brewster was sporty, and when he went to the city to pay off his mortgage she warned him about being too free with his coin. He visited Roger Talbot, holder of the mortgage, who handed him two cigars. Uncle Brewster was dying for a smoke, but he remembered what Aunt Mahaley told him about cutting down expenses, and traded the cigars for a couple of boiled eggs saving the price of lunch. At a fruit exhibit he filled his carpet bag, saving supper money. Before leaving the hotel he packed away everything in sight, so when he returned to Aunt Mahaley he was minus railroad fare but plus many towels and hotel souvenirs.

Once there was a broad girl who had nothing to do except the two-by-four midget known as her husband, so she decided to help the poor. She thought it was a big help to the lowly and uncultured to see what a real razmataz lady was like, so when she was all hooked up behind, she galloped forth to do things to the poor.