Cinematic Titanic: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Cinematic Titanic: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

PG-13 2008 · 86 min · ★ 8.0 · Comedy

The children of Mars are in a funk, and nothing on the red planet seems to be able to cheer them up. Martian King Kimar comes up with the only reasonable solution: kidnap Santa Claus from Earth's North Pole and bring him to their planet to make toys for their joyless, listless little green kids. Meanwhile, two Earth children get wise to the plan and are abducted along with Santa to prevent them from talking to the authorities. Luckily for them, Dropo, the Jerry Lewis of the fourth planet from the sun, is there to help them. The fiendish plot doesn't go according to plan, and there's plenty of intrigue, double-crossing, mistaken identity and stock footage for kids of all ages and planets to enjoy. Poorly conceived, sloppily made, and unfailingly bizarre, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is the ultimate Christmas movie-riffing classic (as fans of MST3K know) which is why Cinematic Titanic chose to revisit, re-riff, and release this holiday hamfest with all new jokes. Merry Crap-mas!

Directed by Stoney Sharp · Written by Joel Hodgson

Your Rating

Where to Watch

Streaming

Midnight Pulp Amazon ChannelShout! Factory Amazon Channel

Cast

Make it a double feature

1h 34m together

Cinematic Titanic: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

The Home

Both from Stoney Sharp.

More from Stoney SharpSee all →

The HomeThe Home · 2026
The Home
10.02026
MovieComedy
While on a school trip to a memory care facility a boy, Max, is paired with an elderly woman, Alice, who runs away. Max must navigate his way through all the absurd patients and bizarre things happening in this home with an end goal of finding the woman who just wants to get her real home.
Cinematic Titanic: Danger on Tiki IslandCinematic Titanic: Danger on Tiki Island · 2010
Cinematic Titanic: Danger on Tiki Island
8.02010
MovieComedy
An atomic bomb test in the South Pacific creates an isolated world of terror. Strange things are happening on this remote island in the Pacific, where a Peace Corps volunteer, a researcher and his love-starved lady arrive to find that nearby atomic testing has mutated some of the plants. It that weren't bad enough, a monster terrifies the villagers in its lust for blood. The man-beast must be stopped - but how? With sarongs a-plenty, this film was a staple at drive-ins in its day. Now experience it live with Cinematic Titanic.
Cinematic Titanic: The Wasp WomanCinematic Titanic: The Wasp Woman · 2008
Cinematic Titanic: The Wasp Woman
8.02008
MovieComedy
Cinematic Titanic is the new "show" from the original MST3K cast.
Cinematic Titanic: Frankenstein's Castle of FreaksCinematic Titanic: Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks · 2008
Cinematic Titanic: Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks
7.82008
MovieComedy
Things get a bit randy in this version of Mary Shelley's immortal classic about... immortality. Just as our resident mad scientist is about to bring his creature back to life, he is forced to use a sub-standard brain. The Cinematic Titanic crew offer more hilarious commentary as they set their sights on a Frankenstein's castle chock full of angry villagers, grave robbers, and skinny dippers.
Cinematic Titanic: The Oozing SkullCinematic Titanic: The Oozing Skull · 2007
Cinematic Titanic: The Oozing Skull
6.82007
MovieComedy
In the far-off land of Kalid, President Amir lies on his deathbed. If this revered head-of-state dies, the brutal dictatorship that he has so lovingly cultivated will fall into a dark age of uncertainty and chaos. And so, in this moment of crisis, his loyal staff are left with no alternative but to choose the only logical and sensible course of action—to transfer Amir's brain into a younger, healthier, and most importantly, living body. Enter Doctor Robert Trenton, a mad scientist of the traditional 'they all laughed at me and now I'll show them' school. He, along with his assistant, Dorro, a little man with a big appetite for evil, and Tracy, a conniving beauty with a heart that's harder than her leathery, over-tanned skin, concoct a deliriously diabolical plan involving murder, body-napping, skullduggery, and oozy, gooey brains.
Cinematic Titanic: Doomsday MachineCinematic Titanic: Doomsday Machine · 2008
Cinematic Titanic: Doomsday Machine
6.82008
MovieComedy
American spies discover the Chinese have built a weapon capable of destroying planet Earth, a "doomsday machine" if you will, and that they plan to use it within a matter of days. Will the human race survive?
Comedy Bang! Bang!Comedy Bang! Bang! · 2012
Comedy Bang! Bang!
6.32012
SeriesComedyTalk
Based on Scott Aukerman’s popular podcast of the same name, COMEDY BANG! BANG! cleverly riffs on the well-known format of the late night talk show, infusing celebrity appearances and comedy sketches with a tinge of the surreal. In each episode, Aukerman engages his guests with unfiltered and improvisational lines of questioning, punctuated by banter and beats provided by bandleader, one-man musical mastermind Reggie Watts, to reinvent the traditional celebrity interview. Packed with character cameos, filmic shorts, sketches and games set amongst an off-beat world, COMEDY BANG! BANG! delivers thirty minutes of absurd laugh-loaded fun featuring some of the biggest names in comedy.
Cinematic Titanic: The Alien FactorCinematic Titanic: The Alien Factor · 2010
Cinematic Titanic: The Alien Factor
6.22010
MovieComedy
Warning: Baltimore is no longer safe. Meet Leemoid, Zagatile and Interbyce. They're the three aliens whose spaceship has crashed in a small town outside of Baltimore. Soon the town folk are turning up mutilated and dead - and even in polyester pants. Then a stranger arrives to save the day. But is he who he says he is? And what about all the polyester pants? See this film they way it was meant to be seen - on the big screen live with Cinematic Titanic.
Cinematic Titanic: War of the InsectsCinematic Titanic: War of the Insects · 2011
Cinematic Titanic: War of the Insects
5.52011
MovieComedy
The bugs shall inherit the earth! Or so says Annabelle, the hottest, the sexiest, and by far the craziest psycho blonde chick to hit Japan since WWII. Deeply embittered about the whole man's-inhumanity-to-man thing, she enacts a diabolical plot to unleash a swarm of mutant insects on the world that will destroy all living creatures except creepy crawlers. Ensnared in all this madness is a philandering island-hopping bug collector and his compliant and slightly pregnant wife, a humorless doctor from the mainland, and a United States airman named Charlie, whose way of starting a conversation is to hysterically scream "Genocide!" and then go off his rocker like the dedicated military professional he is. If you want to watch a story where everybody gets their nuclear holocaust on in the grand tradition of radioactive Japanese monster movies, this is the film for you!
RubberheadRubberhead · 2014
Rubberhead
5.02014
MovieComedyTV Movie
Sarah Silverman hosts the first episode of Rubberhead - a night of comedy shorts featuring some of her favorite performers. With comedy from Nathan Barnatt, Jade Catta-Preta, Michael Cassidy, Shelby Fero, Nathan Fielder, David Dineen-Porter, Kyle Dunnigan, Brett Gelman, Todd Glass, Lauren Lapkus, Natasha Leggero, Emily Maya Mills, Tig Notaro, John C Reilly, Seth Rogen, Nick Rutherford, Rob Schrab, Paul Rust, Laura Silverman, Stoney Sharp, Armen Weitzman, Kulap Vilaysack, Eric Wareheim, Harris Wittels, Charlyne Yi and more!
Cinematic Titanic: Blood of the VampiresCinematic Titanic: Blood of the Vampires · 2009
Cinematic Titanic: Blood of the Vampires
4.52009
MovieComedy
The Escodero family is cursed!The mother, whom the Escodero children assumed to be dead, is actually an undead vampire who lurks in a secret basement/dungeon hidden from the rest of the house. When the kids discover this dark truth, all hell breaks loose...literally! The mother bites the son, who grows fangs and becomes consumed with blood lust. Meanwhile, all this vampire activity wreaks havoc on the daughter's romance with her handsome, dashing fiance. It all leads to a foray into the occult that ultimately proves true love can live on forever, but not before a mob of angry villagers and avenging priests take on the Devil himself in a climactic battle between good and evil. Set in nineteenth century Mexico and performed by a Filipino cast, "Blood of the Vampires" has something for everyone: blood-soaked action for the guys, tender romance for the ladies, and unleashed demonic rage for the frightened child within us all.
Cinematic Titanic: East Meets WattsCinematic Titanic: East Meets Watts · 2009
Cinematic Titanic: East Meets Watts
4.02009
MovieComedy
Kung Fu hits the streets! Young Larry Chin arrives from China looking for his long-lost brother and stumbles into some shady characters that'd just as soon see him go home - or get dead. He crosses paths with Stud Brown, and the two become an unlikely duo as they fight to clean up the 'hood, and make time for some lady loves they meet along the way. And hang on tight for the surprise twist ending. It's all living color kungsploitation glory, live with Cinematic Titanic.
Fine DiningFine Dining · 2023
Fine Dining
2023
MovieComedyDrama
Arrogant superstar chef Alex Fine pursues the impossible dream of earning a fourth Michelin Star.
Cinematic Titanic: RattlersCinematic Titanic: Rattlers · 2012
Cinematic Titanic: Rattlers
2012
MovieComedy
Something is very wrong in the Southwestern desert! It starts when rogue rattlesnakes attack two young boys, and it goes downhill from there. The local authorities summon herpetologist Dr. Tom Parkinson to investigate why the snakes are being such jerks. With the help of photographer and fledgling feminist Ann Bradley, the two of them embark on a haphazard and half-assed investigation – and romance. The hunt leads them to a nearby army base and its uncooperative commanding officer, Colonel Stroud. But when marauding rattlers kill two soldiers, the medical officer on the base can no longer keep silent and reveals the terrible secret, unleashing a chain of events, which lead to all kinds of explodey 1976 action, putting an end to the deadly rattlers. Maybe...
How an Idea Becomes Adventure TimeHow an Idea Becomes Adventure Time · 2014
How an Idea Becomes Adventure Time
2014
MovieDocumentary
A behind-the-scenes look at how an episode of Adventure Time is created.
Cinematic Titanic: Legacy of BloodCinematic Titanic: Legacy of Blood · 2008
Cinematic Titanic: Legacy of Blood
2008
MovieComedy
The Dean family patriarch has died and left a fortune to his children and servants. The occasion soon turns grim when they discover they must all must spend an entire week at the family estate - together. It's all the same old family routine: backbiting, billiards, rumors and innuendo, canings, pantsuits and ham - until one by one, they start turning up dead.

More Like This

The Exchange StudentThe Exchange Student · 1967
The Exchange Student
6.81967
MovieComedy
Monsieur Bosquier, the owner of a private school, is far from pleased when his eldest son, Philippe, fails his end of year exams. He decides to send his wayward offspring to England to improve his English. In exchange, Philippe’s host, a wealthy whisky distiller, Mac Farrel, will send his daughter, Shirley, to live with the Bosquiers in France. However, Philippe has already decided to spend the summer holidays on a yacht with his friends, so he sends a fellow student, Michonnet, to England in his place. The deception is soon discovered but things go from bad to worse when Philippe and Shirley fall in love and fly to Scotland to get married...
Miracle on 34th StreetMiracle on 34th Street · 1947
Miracle on 34th Street
7.41947
MovieComedyDrama
Kris Kringle, seemingly the embodiment of Santa Claus, is asked to portray the jolly old fellow at Macy's following his performance in the Thanksgiving Day parade. His portrayal is so complete that many begin to question if he truly is Santa Claus, while others question his sanity.
Make the Yuletide GayMake the Yuletide Gay · 2009
Make the Yuletide Gay
6.22009
MovieDramaComedy
The holidays get overly festive as Olaf "Gunn" Gunnunderson, an out-and-proud gay college student, crawls back into the closet to survive the holidays with his parents. But when his boyfriend, Nathan, shows up at their doorstep unannounced, Gunn must put on a charade to keep the relationship a secret. With pressure mounting from all sides, will Gunn come out before the truth does?
Babes in ToylandBabes in Toyland · 1934
Babes in Toyland
6.31934
MovieFantasyComedy
Ollie Dee and Stannie Dum try to borrow money from their employer, the toymaker, to pay off the mortgage on Mother Peep's shoe and keep it and Little Bo Peep from the clutches of the evil Barnaby. When that fails, they trick Barnaby, enraging him.
AnnieAnnie · 1999
Annie
6.51999
MovieMusicFamily
Things seem pretty bad for a young girl living a "hard-knock life" in an orphanage. Fed up with the dastardly Miss Hannigan, Annie escapes the run-down orphanage determined to find her mom and dad. It's an adventure that takes her from the cold, mean streets of New York to the warm, comforting arms of bighearted billionaire Oliver Warbucks - with plenty of mischief and music in between.
Carry On CruisingCarry On Cruising · 1962
Carry On Cruising
6.11962
MovieComedy
Captain Crowther's lot is not a happy one! Five of his crew have to be replaced and at such short notice before the voyage begins there isn't much to choose from. Not only does he get the five most incompetent shipmates ever to sail the seven seas, but the passengers turn out to be a rather strange bunch too. The SS Happy Wanderer will never be the same.
Royal New Year's EveRoyal New Year's Eve · 2017
Royal New Year's Eve
6.12017
MovieRomanceTV Movie
An aspiring fashion designer falls in love with her socialite client's prospective fiance, Prince Jeffrey.
Coming Home for ChristmasComing Home for Christmas · 2017
Coming Home for Christmas
6.62017
MovieTV MovieRomance
Lizzie Richfield is at a crossroads when she lands a job as house manager for the exquisite Ashford Estate in the Virginia countryside. While planning one final Christmas Eve gala for the Marley family, Lizzie finds herself drawn to Robert—even as Kip pursues her.
Be My Valentine, Charlie BrownBe My Valentine, Charlie Brown · 1975
Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown
6.81975
MovieAnimationFamily
It's Valentine's Day again and Charlie Brown dreams the seemingly hopeless dream to receiving a valentine from anyone. All the while, the rest of the gang have their own trials whether it be Linus' struggle to get the biggest card he can for his beloved teacher, or Lucy trying to get some token from Schroeder while Snoopy and Woodstock are having fun spearing valentines on each other's nose.

Rate this film

Your ratings make Midnight smarter