Guardatele ma non toccatele

In the center of Milan, Felicita Colombo successfully manages a delicatessen that has among its customers the best bourgeoisie of the city.

Young painter Teddy is successful with women but not very clever about selling pictures. He is in love with Elisabetta but cannot marry her because he is penniless. The couple asks for help from Peppino, a retired clerk who often uses Teddy's painting, pretending that they are his so he can impress the women he likes.

Eugene, a young nobleman, asks two penniless idlers to impersonate his noble relatives to help him marry Gemma, the daughter of an enriched cook.

Naples/Sorrento, mid 20s. A couple of small thieves conceive a scam whereby one of them dresses up as a eunuch Turk to care for the women of the family of a wealthy man. They end up messing everything up, with lots of gags and funny events in the meantime.

Two twin brothers grew up and never met (due to the fact that the father with the couple would have had 13 children and therefore for superstition he closed one in an orphanage), the one goalkeeper of Juventus and the other employee at the state lottery.

A boy and a girl fall in love but their fathers take a strong dislike to each other, clashing repeatedly during the preparations for the upcoming marriage.

Assunta, a commoner of Naples, is scarred by her lover Michele for jealousy.

An artist of variety, known in art with the name of Bebè, is a charlatan in Cannes, in a company with Zallos, a shady type.

Count Borraccilo lives in luxury but does not pay taxes and for this he is targeted by the tax agent Gaetano Pellecchia, who asks his friend Mario for help.

Guido Renzi and his lawyer friend chase a beautiful girl to return a purse that he lost and after a long drive in the car reach the laboratory of an improvised astrophysicist - the girl's father - who, together with another scientist, is about to take off in the direction of Mars aboard a missile.

Antonio is the humble servant of a rich family governed by the Marquis Gastone. He is a young man madly in love with Lulu, but she betrays him, and he desperately enlist in the foreign legion.

Four penniless friends from a small theatre troupe go to Taormina, a famous Italian beach resort, to forget their troubles.

A petty thief pretends he is Mussolini's personal physician, wins the confidence of a family, and succeeds in stealing their gold cutlery.

A psychiatric-clinic medical director runs some tests on two patients, the Ragionier Antonio Vignanelli and Cavalier Peppino Caprioli, so they must retrieve some memories of family life in order to understand their mental illness.