The Guardian

A local man attempts to take advantage of a global crisis by forming a proper cult. Like every good cult, there is a nefarious end game.

The good people of Middle America are being attacked by tumbleweeds! The U.S. military is testing tumbleweeds as weapons to destroy terrorists. The tumbleweeds have escaped. Now hundreds of innocent people in Middle America have been killed. 10,000 head of livestock destroyed, not counting chickens and sheep and, more than 300,000 children are suffering Killer Tumbleweed Trauma. The military refuses to take responsibility. Our government will not comment. Only one news organization is bold enough to report on this tragedy. The whole world is watching it unfold.