A Pain in the Ass

Two strangers believe in love but never seem to be able to find its true meaning. In a wild twist of events, fate puts each in the other's path on one stormy New Year's Eve.

Before the Seavers leave for a family vacation to San Francisco, they drop off their pets -- Chance, an adventurous American bulldog; Shadow, a wise golden retriever; and Sassy, a cautious cat -- at a friend's ranch. But when the animals start to worry that they've been left for good, the three embark together on a treacherous and thrilling journey to find their way back home through the California wilderness.

After Dick Harper loses his job at Globodyne in an Enron-esque collapse, he and his wife, Jane, turn to crime in order to handle the massive debt they now face. Two intelligent people, Dick and Jane actually get pretty good at robbing people and even enjoy it – but they have second thoughts when they're reminded that crime can hurt innocent people. When the couple hears that Globodyne boss Jack McCallister actually swindled the company, they plot revenge.

After being laid off and humiliated by a ruthless job market, a veteran paper mill manager descends into violence in a desperate bid to reclaim his dignity.

Somewhere behind the early 1960s cold-war iron curtain, the Hollander family cause an international spying incident when Walter photographs a sunset in a sensitive region. In order to stay out of jail, the Hollanders take refuge in the American Embassy, which is temporarily being run by the absent Ambassador's diplomatically incompetent son, Axel.

After an argument with her younger sister, Le Ying moves out on her own. She meets a boxing trainer and starts boxing.

Professor Phillip Brainard, an absent minded professor, works with his assistant Weebo, trying to create a substance that's a new source of energy and that will save Medfield College where his sweetheart Sara is the president. He has missed his wedding twice, and on the afternoon of his third wedding, Professor Brainard creates flubber, which allows objects to fly through the air.

Hallie Parker and Annie James are identical twins who were separated at a young age due to their parents' divorce. Unbeknownst to their parents, the girls are sent to the same summer camp, where they meet, discover the truth about their relationship, and come up with a plan to switch places in an effort to reunite their mother and father.

Disgraced ex-England football captain, Danny 'Mean Machine' Meehan, is thrown in jail for assaulting two police officers. He keeps his head down and has the opportunity to forget everything and change the lives of the prisoners. When these prisoners have the chance to put one over the evil guards during a prison football match, Danny takes the lead.

Beverly Hills couple Barbara and Dave Whiteman find their lives altered by the arrival of a vagrant who tries to drown himself in their swimming pool.

Two female scam artists, one low rent and the other high class, compete to swindle a naïve tech prodigy out of his fortune. A remake of the 1988 comedy "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels."

Jimmie is seeing his single friends get married one by one. He isn't too worried until his girlfriend Anne catches the bouquet at his friend Marco's wedding. Suddenly, his wild mustang days are numbered. He finally decides to propose to her, but he sticks his foot in his mouth and botches the proposal. Being insulted by the defeatist proposal, Anne leaves town on an assignment. After she's gone, he finds out that his recently-deceased grandfather's will stipulates that he gets nothing of a multi-million dollar fortune unless he's married by 6:05pm on his 30th birthday: tomorrow! Not being able to find Anne, Jimmie begins backtracking through his past girlfriends to find a wife.