Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous

Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous

The Army Will Never Be The Same

PG-13 2008 · 100 min · ★ 6.2 · Comedy

When fluffy, bubble gum movie star Megan Valentine suddenly finds herself broke and humiliated in the public eye, she wanders from the wreckage of a car accident and witlessly enlists in the U.S. Army hoping in vain that it will change her life.

Directed by Steve Miner · Written by Kelly Bowen

Your Rating

Where to Watch

Rent or Buy

Amazon VideoApple TV StoreGoogle Play MoviesYouTubeFandango At Home

Cast

Make it a double feature

3h 8m together

Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous

Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken

Both from Steve Miner.

More from Steve MinerSee all →

Unmasking the HorrorUnmasking the Horror · 1998
Unmasking the Horror
10.01998
MovieDocumentary
A short film about the making of Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998) and its connections to Halloween (1978). It also looks at why the original movie had such an impact.
The Wonder YearsThe Wonder Years · 1988
The Wonder Years
8.31988
SeriesComedyDrama
The story of Kevin Arnold facing the trials and tribulations of youth while growing up during the 1960s and 70s. Told through narration from an adult Kevin, Kevin faces the difficulties of maintaining relationships and friendships on his enthralling journey into adulthood.
WildfireWildfire · 2005
Wildfire
8.32005
SeriesDramaFamily
After serving time at a juvenile detention center, eighteen-year-old Kris Furillo is given the opportunity to start a new life. Her talent with horses is recognized by a volunteer and local trainer, who arranges a job for her at the Ritter's family run ranch.
SmallvilleSmallville · 2001
Smallville
8.22001
SeriesSci-Fi & FantasyAction & Adventure
The origins of the world’s greatest hero–from Krypton refugee Kal-el’s arrival on Earth through his tumultuous teen years to Clark Kent’s final steps toward embracing his destiny as the Man of Steel.
PsychPsych · 2006
Psych
7.92006
SeriesDramaComedy
Thanks to his police officer father's efforts, Shawn Spencer spent his childhood developing a keen eye for detail (and a lasting dislike of his dad). Years later, Shawn's frequent tips to the police lead to him being falsely accused of a crime he solved. Now, Shawn has no choice but to use his abilities to perpetuate his cover story: psychic crime-solving powers, all the while dragging his best friend, his dad, and the police along for the ride.
EurekaEureka · 2006
Eureka
7.72006
SeriesSci-Fi & FantasyComedy
The sleepy Pacific Northwest town of Eureka is hiding a mysterious secret. The government has been relocating the world's geniuses and their families to this rustic town for years where innovation and chaos have lived hand in hand. U.S. Marshal Jack Carter stumbles upon this odd town after wrecking his car and becoming stranded there. When the denizens of the town unleash an unknown scientific creation, Carter jumps in to try to restore order and consequently learns of one of the country's best kept secrets.
Make It or Break ItMake It or Break It · 2009
Make It or Break It
7.72009
SeriesDrama
Set in the world of competitive gymnastics, the series follows a group of teen Olympic hopefuls as they train for their day in the spotlight.
The PracticeThe Practice · 1997
The Practice
7.61997
SeriesDrama
A provocative legal drama focused on young associates at a bare-bones Boston firm and their scrappy boss, Bobby Donnell. The show's forte is its storylines about “people who walk a moral tightrope.”
Manny's OrphansManny's Orphans · 1978
Manny's Orphans
7.51978
MovieComedyFamily
Manny coaches soccer for the fashionable Creighton Hall school, but is relieved of duty because he is 'not a good match' for the school. He finds a job at a Catholic home for orphans, where he forms a new soccer team, with the help of one very good player Pepe who turns out to be a girl. 'Pepe' is the sister of one of the orphans, who comes to the all-boy orphanage posing as a boy, because her former foster home was an abusive environment. Along the way, Manny has incurred a gambling debt, his creditors begin to lean on him, and the boys find out. They set up a soccer game and stake the outcome against Manny's debt. If they win, the debt will be forgiven.
Switched at BirthSwitched at Birth · 2011
Switched at Birth
7.52011
SeriesDramaFamily
The story of two teenage girls who discover they were accidentally switched as newborns in the hospital. Bay Kennish grew up in a wealthy family with two parents and a brother, while Daphne Vasquez, who lost her hearing at an early age due to a case of meningitis, grew up with a single mother in a working-class neighborhood. Things come to a dramatic head when both families meet and struggle to learn how to live together for the sake of the girls.
Once Upon a TimeOnce Upon a Time · 2011
Once Upon a Time
7.42011
SeriesDramaSci-Fi & Fantasy
There is a town in Maine where every story book character you've ever known is trapped between two worlds, victims of a powerful curse. Only one knows the truth and only one can break the spell.
Wild Hearts Can't Be BrokenWild Hearts Can't Be Broken · 1991
Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken
7.41991
MovieDramaFamily
A runaway orphan, young Sonora, persists in a menial job mucking stables in Doc Carver's travelling stunt show. Her great wish is to become a death-defying "diving girl," but Doc refuses her pleas. Undaunted, Sonora's gutsy resolve finally convinces him to give her a break. On the brink of stardom, however, a cruel twist of fate threatens to destroy her dream.
Dawson's CreekDawson's Creek · 1998
Dawson's Creek
7.31998
SeriesDramaSoap
Dawson's Creek is an American teen drama that portrays the fictional lives of a close-knit group of teenagers through high school and college.
Death by LightningDeath by Lightning · 2025
Death by Lightning
7.32025
SeriesDramaCrime
The story of James Garfield, who rose from obscurity to become America's 20th President — and Charles Guiteau, the man who assassinated him.
Chasing LifeChasing Life · 2014
Chasing Life
7.22014
SeriesDramaFamily
April, an aspiring journalist, is balancing her ambitious career with her family and a new office romance. In an unexpected twist of fate, April learns that she has leukemia.
Chicago HopeChicago Hope · 1994
Chicago Hope
7.21994
SeriesSoapDrama
Chicago Hope is an American medical drama television series, created by David E. Kelley. It ran on CBS from September 18, 1994, to May 4, 2000. The series is set in a fictional private charity hospital in Chicago, Illinois.

More Like This

Catch-22Catch-22 · 1970
Catch-22
6.71970
MovieWarComedy
A WWII military pilot makes a valiant effort to be certified insane in order to be excused from flying missions. But there's a catch.
At War with the ArmyAt War with the Army · 1950
At War with the Army
5.31950
MovieComedyWar
Two former nightclub partners are now enlisted in the Army. Sergeant Puccinelli ranks above his former partner, Private First Class Korwin. Puccinelli is desperately trying to get transferred from his dull job to active duty overseas. Meanwhile, all Korwin wants is a pass to see his wife and new baby.
PiranhaPiranha · 1978
Piranha
5.91978
MovieHorrorScience Fiction
When flesh-eating piranhas are accidentally released into a summer resort's rivers, the guests become their next meal.
The Life and Death of Colonel BlimpThe Life and Death of Colonel Blimp · 1943
The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp
7.51943
MovieWarDrama
General Candy, who's overseeing an English squad in 1943, is a veteran leader who doesn't have the respect of the men he's training and is considered out-of-touch with what's needed to win the war. But it wasn't always this way. Flashing back to his early career in the Boer War and World War I, we see a dashing young officer whose life has been shaped by three different women, and by a lasting friendship with a German soldier.
Gunga DinGunga Din · 1939
Gunga Din
6.51939
MovieAdventureWar
British army sergeants Ballantine, Cutter and MacChesney serve in India during the 1880s, along with their native water-bearer, Gunga Din. While completing a dangerous telegraph-repair mission, they unearth evidence of the suppressed Thuggee cult. When Gunga Din tells the sergeants about a secret temple made of gold, the fortune-hunting Cutter is captured by the Thuggees, and it's up to his friends to rescue him.
The Pentagon WarsThe Pentagon Wars · 1998
The Pentagon Wars
6.91998
MovieComedyDrama
From the director of “Made In America” and “The Money Pit” comes a hilarious look at one of the most expensive blunders in military history. Over 17 years and almost as many billion dollars have gone into devising the BFV (Bradley Fighting Vehicle). There's only one problem. . . it doesn't work. (Spoiler alert: 25 years later ... it does work.)
Scary Movie 3Scary Movie 3 · 2003
Scary Movie 3
6.02003
MovieComedy
News anchorwoman Cindy Campbell has to investigate mysterious crop circles and killing video tapes, and help the President stop an alien invasion in the process.
Scary Movie 4Scary Movie 4 · 2006
Scary Movie 4
5.52006
MovieComedy
Cindy finds out the house she lives in is haunted by a little boy and goes on a quest to find out who killed him and why. Also, Alien "Tr-iPods" are invading the world and she has to uncover the secret in order to stop them.
Sgt. BilkoSgt. Bilko · 1996
Sgt. Bilko
5.91996
MovieComedy
The US army is known for churning out lean mean fighting machines intent on protecting our great nation. Sergeant Ernie Bilko is the leader of a ragtag group of the sorriest soldiers ever to enlist in the armed forces.
Buffalo SoldiersBuffalo Soldiers · 2002
Buffalo Soldiers
6.32002
MovieDramaComedy
A criminal subculture operates among U.S. soldiers stationed in West Germany just before the fall of the Berlin wall.
G.I. BluesG.I. Blues · 1960
G.I. Blues
6.51960
MovieMusicComedy
Stationed in West Germany, soldier Tulsa McLean hopes to open a nightclub once he's discharged. Although he may lack the capital for such a venture, a chance to raise the cash comes his way through a friendly wager. Local dancer Lili is a notorious ice queen, and Tulsa bets everything he has that a friend of his can earn her affections. But when the friend is dispatched to Alaska, it's up to Tulsa to melt Lili's heart.
The Ninth ConfigurationThe Ninth Configuration · 1980
The Ninth Configuration
6.41980
MovieDramaComedy
Army psychiatrist Colonel Kane is posted to a secluded gothic castle housing a military asylum. With a reserved calm, he indulges the inmates' delusions, allowing them free rein to express their fantasies.
In China They Eat DogsIn China They Eat Dogs · 1999
In China They Eat Dogs
7.31999
MovieActionComedy
Arvid is an ordinary bank clerk who lives a rather unassuming life with his dear girlfriend. But his life is turned completely upside down when he bravely manages to avert a robbery against the bank where he works.
Stolen KissesStolen Kisses · 1968
Stolen Kisses
7.31968
MovieComedyDrama
The third in a series of films featuring François Truffaut's alter-ego, Antoine Doinel, the story resumes with Antoine being discharged from military service. His sweetheart Christine's father lands Antoine a job as a security guard, which he promptly loses. Stumbling into a position assisting a private detective, Antoine falls for his employers' seductive wife, Fabienne, and finds that he must choose between the older woman and Christine.
Blonde and BlonderBlonde and Blonder · 2008
Blonde and Blonder
3.82008
MovieActionComedy
Comic mayhem ensues when two lovely blondes, Dee and Dawn, are mistaken as international mob killers.
RavenousRavenous · 1999
Ravenous
6.81999
MovieAdventureWestern
After arriving at his new, remote Army outpost, Capt. John Boyd and his regiment aid a wounded frontiersman who recounts a horrifying tale of a wagon train murdered by its supposed guide – a vicious U.S. Army colonel gone rogue. Fearing the worst, the regiment heads out into the wilderness to verify the gruesome claims.

Rate this film

Your ratings make Midnight smarter