She’s My Best Friend (and I Hate Her)

Fatty Issues

The cloak and dagger antics of a girl alone at home on a diet - weighing raisins, fiddling the scales, changing the definition of 'fruit' and blaming it all on her boyfriend...

Pond Life

Pond Life is a British animated television series that was written and directed by Candy Guard and follows the misadventures of its neurotic and self-obsessed protagonist, Dolly Pond. Two series were broadcast on Channel 4 in 1996 and 2000. A series of 13x15minute episodes was screened from 3 to 18 December 1996, mainly at 5.45pm, but two episodes exploring more adult themes were reserved for a double screening at 11.25pm. This series was repeated between March and June 1998. A second series of 7x30minute episodes followed between 19–30 September 2000 to tie-in with Channel 4's Animation Week of 23–29 September 2000. The series began life in 1992 with a pilot episode entitled I Want a Boyfriend ... Or Do I?, co-commissioned by Channel 4 and S4C. Pond Life was Guard's second breakthrough and was commissioned by Channel 4 in 1996. Scheduling problems marred the series' reception; it was originally intended for broadcast at 9.45pm, but was shown four hours earlier, which required edits to remove adult language. It was shown at the same time as Australian soap Neighbours, and was aimed at the same core audience as the soap. Despite these problems, Pond Life won several awards and received a Writer's Guild nomination for Best Sitcom. Guard was pleased because it was up against several live-action comedy series, including Only Fools and Horses. A second series was broadcast in 2000.

Alternative Fringe

Famous for combining extremely simple line drawings with biting humour she lays bare the frustrations encountered by ordinary women in their daily lives. Candy Guard once disarmingly described her job as "writing funny stories and then drawing pictures to go with them", which goes some way towards explaining her success as both an animator and newspaper cartoonist.

The Wrong Type

A temp with a typing speed of no words a minute finds herself way out of her depth when sent to work at a large corporation, by a rather desperate Temping Agency, 'SuperTemps'...

Wishful Thinking

Two friends have high hopes for a party, arrive much too early, meet no-one but an awful lech, witness a suicide attempt by the hostess and find themselves as usual, mostly interested in the buffet...

Moanologue

A girl decides that the problem with her relationship with her boyfriend is him - listing all the things he doesn't do - buy gifts, look happy to see her, give her compliments etc etc - when he finally storms off she has a change of heart...

The Anxious Person + Returning Something to the Shop

Millie buys some new boots at lunchtime and wears them back to the office - but they are too tight - and now she's worn them! Why did she buy them? her best friend June asks helpfully..... She nervously imagines what the assistant will say when she takes them back and how she will have an answer for everything ...

Ladies

Ladies in neighbouring toilet cubicles agonise over what their neighbour might be thinking about them.

Fantastic Person

A delusional woman plans out tomorrow after loafing around in her own apartment.

What About Me?

Two over-sensitive friends get together for a chat and a cup of tea to talk about their favourite subject – themselves…

Getting to Know You

Two strangers are left alone by a mutual friend and can’t think of a thing to say to each other…

The Bag Lady

In Candy Guard's debut film, an overweight woman with a bag on her head sits down and swears at everyone she sees.

A Little Something

An ironic examination of personal identity and social conventions, in this tale of a teenage girl who resolves her anxieties by wearing a paper bag on her head, permanently.

Don't Lose Your Head

Amidst the French revolution, Citizen Robespierre is beheading the aristocracy! When word gets to England, noblemen Sir Rodney Ffing and Lord Darcy Pue take it upon themselves to aid their French counterparts. Sir Rodney is a master of disguise, and becomes 'The Black Fingernail' scourge of Camembert and Bidet, leaders of the French secret police.

The Good Heart

Jacques is the curmudgeonly owner of a gritty New York dive bar that serves as home to a motley assortment of professional drinkers. Jacques is determinedly drinking and smoking himself to death when he meets Lucas, a homeless young man who has already given up on life. Determined to keep his legacy alive, Jacques deems Lucas is a fitting heir and takes him under his wing.

Mack & Rita

A 30-year-old spends a wild weekend in Palm Springs and wakes up to find she has magically transformed into her 70-year-old self.