The Stand Off

With decades worth of evidence including leaked government computers, found footage and children’s television, one hardcore believer shares their troubling findings about the impending gnomegeddon with the world.

I keep thinking someone Is standing beside me When I turn to grab them They jump back inside of me They tell me to do things And so does the radio And learn from the satellite That orbits my shadow, yeah

Do you think that your friend may be a lazy bones? Do you think that a family member is chronically nature-deprived? Do you think that gnomes are actually kinda cool? Then this is the tape for you! For distribution among schools and rehabilitation centres.

the world wasn't ready

Spyware Incorporated hold no responsibility for damage caused to the body or mind of the spy using the device as a result of bad decisions made on behalf of the device. While highly advanced in decision-making capabilities, the gadget has the potential of an “off day” in which it does not operate at it’s a-game. Spyware Incorporated has found that the best way to resolve this issue is to allow the decisionmaster 3000 to have a spa day and eat a meatball marinara subway sandwich made by one of their most highly esteemed sandwich artists. Spyware incorporated also recognises that in the heated moments we suggest the device is used in, this course of action may not be possible, so we recommend always carrying a subway sandwich with you just in case. Failure to comply to our recommendations is likely to lead to mission failure or death, for which Spyware Incorporated may not be held responsible.

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