Keith Wong Wang-Gei

What happens when a glamorous express, with high government officials, wealthy merchants, concubines and a gang of brigands on board, speeds towards the small town of Hanshui, where escaping bank robbers, corrupt officials, and gamblers await? Well, let's just say the Titanic had a smoother maiden voyage.

This film is a Hong Kong version of the British Carry On films, this one specifically set in a hospital. The hospital is full of inept people, so Miss Kuk (Meg Lam) vows to the board that she will reform it. This involves the recruitment of student nurses, keeping in check some silly interns and dealing with Dr. Chen, whose wife just left him.

Taxi driver Lung is obsessed with TV news reporter Jenny Tung. He attempts to gain her affection by providing minor news stories, but her arrogant lawyer boyfriend, John Liu gets in the way. He tells Lung that she is only interested in major events. When a series of murders begins to plaque the city, Lung begins to feed Tung info on the killings but is he more connected than he lets on?

Kate stars opposite Richie Ren (or Jen, depending on what rocks your boat), as couple Rachel and Fat. They're the atypical modern day couple living it up in Beijing, though the latter is suspect of the former's promiscuity. He loathes the time when he has to bring his girlfriend back to the village to meet his parents, and to get the stamp of approval from his father (played by Yuen Wah). So they device a plan, and that is to look for a substitute girlfriend (hence the title Contract Lover), whose mission is to be as disgusting as possible, so that Dad will tell Fat to find anyone else better than the current beau, and hence, for Fat to introduce Rachel.