Desmond Walter-Ellis

Bolt, a British linguist, develops a universal language, so he's a sudden sensation and receives a Nobel prize. An ambitious diplomat, capitalizing on Bolt's celebrity, arranges for the U.S. to commission a statue for a London square to honor Bolt's achievement. Bolt's Italian wife, a renowned artist, sculpts an 18-foot nude of Bolt. In a pique, because he's neglected her for years to do his work, she gives the statue a spectacular phallus, telling Bolt that he wasn't its model. Thinking he's a cuckold, Bolt goes on a jealous search for a man matching the statue. The diplomat, too, wants changes in the statue to protect his conservative image. Can art and love reconcile?

The all-girl school foil an attempt by train robbers to recover £2.5 million hidden in their school.

Two Welsh coal-mining brothers win a trip to London to claim a monetary prize. They are supposed to meet a newspaper reporter who will be their escort. Instead, the brothers are launched into an adventure with some London riff-raff. It is up to the reporter to look out for the brothers, and what a job it turns out to be!

Fresh-faced young Michael Rimmer worms his way into an opinion poll company and is soon running the place. He uses this as a springboard to get into politics and in the mini-skirted flared-trousered world of 1970 Britain starts to rise through the Tory ranks.

Years after fleeing his ancestral home with his mother, Jason returns home to claim his birthright, only to find his way blocked by his evil cousin Thomas. In order to reclaim his title, Jason must do battle with his cousin, who calls upon the members of the deadly Hellfire Club to stop him.

Two friends get drunk and decide to switch identities. One is a Parliamentary Secretary, and the other is the captain of a ship. The former's lack of sea knowledge causes several catastrophes, including torpedoing the First Lord of The Admiralty. The grass is always greener.... In this British comedy, two drunken comrades find out the truth of that saying when they decide to trade places for a while. One of the boozers is a public relations man who knows nothing about sailing, while the other is a captain for the Royal Navy. Comic mayhem ensues as the hapless "captain" tries to run his ship and follow orders.

Heironymus Merkin is an internationally successful singer approaching middle age who retells his life story in a series of production numbers on a seashore in front of his two toddlers and aged mother. Merkin's promiscuous relationships with women are explored, particularly Polyester Poontang and the adolescent Mercy Humppe. Merkin is constantly surrounded by a Satan-like procurer, Goodtime Eddie Filth, and an angelic 'Presence' who interrupts Merkin's biography with cryptic Borscht Belt-level jokes to denote births and deaths in Merkin's life. Newley periodically steps out of character to complain about his 'Merkin' role with an unseen director, two screenwriters, the film's producers and a trio of blasé movie critics who are turned off by the story's eroticism and lack of plot.

Penniless man-about-town Michael Gore-Brown is delighted to hear he has been left a high-class Mayfair fashion salon. His intention is to sell it as quickly as possible, but on meeting Ellen, chief designer and manager, he quickly changes his mind and turns his attention to courting her.